Well, well, well... Welcome to Motherhood, Tenessa

Well, I sit here and type, with a baby in a car seat on the kitchen floor beside my foot. I'm rocking him gently, turning my head after every sentence I type, making sure the dog is still sleeping on the kitchen rug a few feet beside him. The Lord has blessed me with none other than a beautiful baby boy. Quite unexpected timing (not that he was unexpected, but I was hoping for at least two more weeks), but very welcomed into this world. My beautiful son is here, healthy and happy. I couldn't ask for a better situation.

We have had so many visitors in the last couple of days-- mainly family and Brushettes. They have been bringing us food and love, clothes and toys. Sometimes I think Whit is getting tired of all these people coming in and out of the house, but he knew that it would be like this. We are a very loved family and people can't get enough of babies. I have been getting tired of telling the story over and over to different people. It's been almost a week since I went into labor and I'm scared I've forgotten the most important details. So, it's time to blog about it. Bear with me, it could get graphic. :)

Whit and I went over to Mom and Dad's house for Nick's birthday dinner on Sunday night. We always go over to their house nearly every Sunday, and this week was no different. I told everyone I was getting kind of tired and I wanted to get some sleep before the next week began, so Whit and I took off about 8:45 or so. When I got home, I quickly jumped in the shower and took a nice, hot, hot shower. Sometimes when the water is hot like that, I like to cool off by laying in bed, naked. This night was no exception. So, I am laying naked on the bed for about 10-15 minutes. Whit came into the bedroom and started undressing so he could take a shower as well. I jumped up to put my PJs on and did one final dry off with the towel. I went to wipe-- down there-- and my towel was covered in blood. OH MY GOSH! I was so scared. I called for Whit-- CALL MY MOM! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I was getting so terrified. Whit kept reasurring me that everything was going to be okay, get dressed and we are going to Labor and Delivery. Funny thing is, while I was in the shower, Whit was putting my hospital bags in my car. I got dressed, attempted to put a pad in, threw the dog outside, and away we went. I was freaking out the whole way to the hospital (a good 10 minute car ride!). We called my mom on the way and she was on her way as well. When we got to Labor and Delivery, they checked to see how much I was dialated-- only 1 1/2 cm. Dang. But maybe that means I can go home and finish the week at school (don't forget, I had a program scheduled for Tuesday). They hooked up the external baby heart monitor and the external contraction montior and told me to lay on my side so they can check on me for about 30 minutes. I was talking to Whit and the cold I've been battling for the last two weeks got the best of me and I let out a giant cough. Well, that's when my water broke. Holy cow! What a weird feeling. So, to the delivery room I went.

The nurses checked my vitals about every two hours... no change. 6:30 a.m. The nurse came in and said she was going to start the pitocin drip in my I-V to get the contractions going. The nurse's name was Melody and she said that I was going to have this baby before the end of her shift... "what time are you going home?" "7 p.m." she told me. Okay. I think I can do that! The next 6 hours or so were waiting around for the contractions to get stronger and closer together-- which they were, just at a very slow rate. Every now and then Melody would come in and check my vitals, then she was "up the pitocin". About 5 cm dialated, I was in a lot of slow and constant pain. I could find a way to get comfortable. I couldn't concentrate. They told me about their pain medication options. Of course, I could go ahead and get the epiderial or I could get a pain medication through the I-V. I could also get both should I want it. I could also get the pain medication through the I-V more than one time, so by the time it wore off, I could get more. Although Melody said that it isn't as effective the second or third time around. I probably wouldn't have gotten the pain medication had it not been for the PAINFUL cough I was having and stuffy nose that caused me to breathe only through my mouth. And we all know what happens when you are constantly breathing through your mouth, it gets dry and is more painful to cough. Boy, oh boy. So, I asked for the pain medication through the I-V. I fell asleep! Aw. Wonderful. I was having my contractions in my sleep but it was nice to finally get some rest! :)

By the time the hard labor started, the medication had worn off. Whit and Mom were so wonderful. They were very encouraging and very helpful. Whit was especially calm when he needed to be. Finally the last push or three away and the doctor came in. I think it is silly that the doctor gets to claim that delivery-- Melody did more than the doctor! She should be on my birth certificate instead! The doctor gave me orders for the last push. And snip, snip-- there went the episiomtomy. One last push. And out it went. Did Whit get to cut the cord? No... he was already out and in the heating table. What's wrong? The baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and needed oxygen to get his little lungs going. He was with the neonatal nurses for about an hour before I even got to hold him. Well, that wasn't how I pictured that! Finally, I got to bond with him for about ten minutes before he needed to go get more oxygen. His blood pressure was down. He was white as a ghost. He didn't start crying right away. But his big eyes were open and looking around at everything. He was very alert. I claim it is because I didn't have the epiderial and the I-V had already worn off. The nursery nurse came in and told me that he needed more fluids in his system. They could give him a bottle with 1/2 oz of formula or they could give him an I-V. Now, what do you think I told them to do? Of course, give him a bottle! About twenty minutes after the bottle, he was doing so much better. Blood pressure was up, he was crying and getting enough oxygen on his own. He was doing wonderful! A little trauma coming through the birth canal but all in all, he was doing great!

I used to laugh at people who stared at their babies faces for long periods of time. Now, I find myself doing that same thing. I can't get enough of my little McCoy. He is perfect in every way. I cannot understand the amount of love that I have for one little person who has only been around for five days. I can't keep it inside. I'm overcome with joy and pride. My family is so perfect.

Regrets

I have a problem.

I have known about this problem for a while. Maybe about 10 years or so. It's a problem that has its ups and downs. Mostly downs. It gets me into trouble. Makes me feel bad inside. Gets me into fights with the people I love. Takes me away from the things I cherish most.

I need to get better. For good. Not just a year or so but forever more.

I can't say no.

I am a member of KCMTA again this year. And I **agreed** to handle the Multi-Piano enrollments for the big concert in February. The deadline is October 31. I have about 30 people emailing me all day asking me for this or that or whatnot. I knew that the baby was due the same time. And what did I do? I said "SURE!! I'D LOVE TO BE IN CHARGE OF THAT! I CAN HANDLE THAT! NO PROBLEM!" Well, I have regrets.

I don't want to do it anymore-- but only because I don't think I'm doing my best. The "boss" lady was supposed to call and chat it up with me today about things, and I'm going to bed instead.

I need a constant reminder that when people ask me to do stuff-- big stuff, I need to really think about it. Is this what I want to do? For real? Can I do it without feeling overwhelmed or stressed out? Can I do it to the best of my ability?

Needless to say, MP will be great and I will do a fine job. It's just not a "Tenessa-Fine" job. You know what I mean.

Free Bananas!!

This morning Whit and I went to church. The first Sunday of the month is always Communion. But they also have a group of people who volunteer to feed the hungry in Kansas City on the first Sunday of the month. Most people bring items to the church before they take off to feed, and this poor little old man came late and missed the group before they left. He had a box full of bananas with him for the cause. Of course, he didn't want to follow them out to Kansas City just for the bananas, as he was also to give a little speech about the finanical plans of the church. So, free bananas! He said they must go, because they are very ripe. So, making Whit take advantage of bananas at our fingertips, I made him go grab a bundle. Thus, my first attempt at making banana bread will be revealed.

Here is the recipe I am using:

Banana Bread Recipe (I am doubling the recipe and freezing a loaf)

Ingredients (this recipe is NOT doubled)

3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
(I think I might also add a bit of cinnamon to the recipe and then add some brown sugar on top before baking. We'll see how that goes.)

Method

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

Here is my attempt at pictures with this beautiful bread.

A Bunch of Bananas



Mix it up!



Put it in the pans with a little brown sugar on top...



Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Alas, Banana Bread!! Looks, smells and tastes wonderful! Thank you, little Old Man, for running late this morning, so I could have some free bananas!

Saturday.... aww...

Well, here it is. Saturday, at 8:30. No where to be, nothing on my to-do list, no one asking me to go here or there, or finish this or that. I am relaxing.

YEA RIGHT!

I can't do that! Not even if I tried. I have all day to sleep in and what time did I get up? 8:00! That's not sleeping in! What happened to the good ol' days of sleeping in until 11 or 12? I'll tell you where they went. They went away about 5 years ago. But that's alright. I know my body is preparing for something better. I'm going to need to function on minimal sleep and honestly, I think I can do it! For the last two months, I have been getting up at 5:30 a.m. and running errands/work/stuff that needs to be done until bedtime around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. And that is while I'm getting nice and fat with a squirming baby boy who only wants to play all day (in my belly, that is).

So for today-- my first day of nothing-ness in a while, I think I'll make this following to do list:

1. put out the rest of the fall decorations
2. fix my iPod stuff
3. go to Michael's and get that pumpkin light up thing for Whit
4. do the laundry (baby laundry, that is. Who cares aobut mine and Whits?!)
5. tidy up the kitchen
6. pay the bills
7. catch up on Multi-Piano
8. paint the baby's shelves (green??)
9. gather up Rezound polos and clothes
10. relax!

I had to get to 10. You know a list is not complete wihtout at least 10 things on there. Let's see how much I actually do. And if I don't do it, oh well! Because this is a Saturday that I don't have to do ANYTHING!!